[推荐]HR的自我修养——hr自嘲诗
<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0cm 0cm 0pt"><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">一、</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">HR</font></span><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">是啥</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0cm 0cm 0pt"><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">他是一个奇妙的部门；</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0cm 0cm 0pt"><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">他是一个奇妙的人。</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0cm 0cm 0pt"><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">他上得厅堂下得厨房；</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0cm 0cm 0pt"><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">他偶尔还坐在主席台上。</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0cm 0cm 0pt"><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">他有时高瞻远瞩，与老板畅谈人才战略和机构设置；</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0cm 0cm 0pt"><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">他有时鸡毛蒜皮，为半个月补偿金跟员工争得面红耳赤。</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0cm 0cm 0pt"><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">他有时很匆忙，加着班计算加班、休着假统计休假；</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0cm 0cm 0pt"><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">他有时很凄凉，拿着温饱</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">+1</font></span><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">的工资帮领导设计股权计划。</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0cm 0cm 0pt"><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">他要和满腹牢骚的员工谈心；</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0cm 0cm 0pt"><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">他要替无法无天的制度正名。</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0cm 0cm 0pt"><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">他要给说错话的土匪车间主任擦屁股；</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0cm 0cm 0pt"><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">他要为无厘头的混账工作安排找理论典故。</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0cm 0cm 0pt"><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">他是服务部门，为你上保险、跑银行、安排体检、介绍对象；</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0cm 0cm 0pt"><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">他是权力部门，盯着你的迟到早退、算着你的绩效指标，压着你的人员编制，管着你的培训费报销。</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0cm 0cm 0pt"><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">他是心思缜密的法律专家，他编的人事制度完美无瑕，任凭你刁钻古怪、见缝插针也没有办法；</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0cm 0cm 0pt"><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">他是阴险狡诈的不法之徒，他用萝卜大棒对付下属，他拿糖衣炮弹腐蚀干部，他为剩余价值的零头挑战法律和道德的尺度。</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0cm 0cm 0pt"><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">二、</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">HR</font></span><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">干啥</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0cm 0cm 0pt"><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">他招聘你，哪怕你在千里之外；</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0cm 0cm 0pt"><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">他辞退你，总有办法让你离开。</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0cm 0cm 0pt"><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">他培训你，使你成为资本的砝码；</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0cm 0cm 0pt"><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">他考核你，让你晓得不听话的代价。</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0cm 0cm 0pt"><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">他发的工资按时到账，虽然奖金总扣得你摸不着方向；</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0cm 0cm 0pt"><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">他交的保险样样齐全，但是计算的方式往往和你想的不太一样。</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0cm 0cm 0pt"><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">他给你做十年的职业规划，告诉你很有盼头。</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0cm 0cm 0pt"><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">他和你签三年的劳动合同，是怕你赖着不走。</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0cm 0cm 0pt"><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">他的工作很多，他并不爱这个。</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0cm 0cm 0pt"><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">他不为资本家，他只是为生活。</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0cm 0cm 0pt"><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">他常感到寂寞，他偶尔也快乐。</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0cm 0cm 0pt"><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">寂寞里，他意识到真实渺小的自我；</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0cm 0cm 0pt"><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">快乐时，也伴随着精神分裂的折磨。</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0cm 0cm 0pt"><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">三、</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">HR</font></span><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">凭啥</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0cm 0cm 0pt"><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">他不懂的很多，他懂了又如何？</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0cm 0cm 0pt"><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">他不懂得机械，他不懂得材料，他看不懂加工工艺，他做不来编程建模。</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0cm 0cm 0pt"><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">他也学过经济，他也考了管理，他修完了组织行为和人事心理。</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0cm 0cm 0pt"><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">这些都不神秘。</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0cm 0cm 0pt"><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">他的数据库分毫不差，他把统计表玩得出神入化。</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0cm 0cm 0pt"><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">这些都不是技术，因为他只是个</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">HR</font></span><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">。</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0cm 0cm 0pt"><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">他画的表格看起来千篇一律，他写的制度平淡淡不足为奇。</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0cm 0cm 0pt"><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">他离价值链很远，他却离老板很近，他对公司好像是了无增益。</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0cm 0cm 0pt"><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">他只是个</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">HR</font></span><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">，</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">HR</font></span><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">玩的不是专业，是</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">RP</font></span><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">。</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0cm 0cm 0pt"><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">四、</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">HR</font></span><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">混啥</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0cm 0cm 0pt"><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">有的地方，人是资源；</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0cm 0cm 0pt"><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">有的地方，人是负担。</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0cm 0cm 0pt"><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">河蟹世界，人不稀缺。这里的人力不是资源。</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0cm 0cm 0pt"><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">他却在这里做着自欺欺人的人力资源。</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0cm 0cm 0pt"><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">推翻种族隔离的是曼德拉；</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0cm 0cm 0pt"><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">把临时工法定为劳务派遣的是劳动合同法。</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0cm 0cm 0pt"><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">这里不需要</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">HR</font></span><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">。</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0cm 0cm 0pt"><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">学这门课是他年少时犯下的错，入这个行像美女嫁了个流氓。</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0cm 0cm 0pt"><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">当犯错的少年已不再是少年郎，嫁流氓的美女也成了个女流氓。</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0cm 0cm 0pt"><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">做为一个</span><span lang="EN-US"><font face="Times New Roman">HR</font></span><span style="font-family:宋体;mso-ascii-font-family:'times new roman';mso-hansi-font-family:'times new roman'">，他也只能在这里谈谈自我修养。</span></p> <p>呵呵，顶一下</p>
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